Book Sixteen- Reunited and it feels so gooood....

Hey Guys!!
So, when I left off, I was staying with the swineherd, attempting to plot my revenge on the suitors in the form of an old man. It was getting realllyyyyyyyyy boring, but then guess who showed up?? TELEMAKHOS!!! Ohhh my beautiful son! (who I painfully regret leaving at home for the first twenty years of his life...) Of course, I stayed in the form of an old man for a while, just so I could check him out and see what kind of man he had become. He seemed very responsible, grown-up, and seriously, I'm afraid that he's more of a man than I am!! However, that's certainly not possible...I mean COME ON. I'm ODYSSEUS. Anyways, as soon as Eumaios left the hut to go tell Penelope that Telemakhos had come home, I revealed myself to Telemakhos, and he was totally in shock!! He totally didn't believe it was me, AND he couldn't even look at me...Soon however, the boy came to his senses and we embraced. And wept. It was a real Hallmark moment. Ahem. Anyways, then I retold my story again and we tried to think of a way to kill the suitors. Finally, we decided on the perfect plan...We would attack from within the palace... Here's how it's gonna go down:

1. I enter the palace disguised as a beggar
2. Meanwhile, Telemakhos will hide the palace's weaponry so the suitors can't get to it
3. We take all the weaponry and kill all the suitors!!

It's like the freaking Italian Job!! woooot! Anyways, that will definitely be exciting, and I'm looking forward to bonding with my boy over the killing of the suitors! Anyways, I have to go, but Telemakhos recommended this one guest blogger because I really don't feel like writing anymore... So here's Antinoos!

Hey Everyone!
Wow, I guess I'm really new to this whole blogging thing, but I mean being a suitor and having my days basically filled with eating Penelope's food and plotting against her son, I guess there's really not much time for this computer stuff....However, we suitors have just learned some highly useful information, and I thought I would just share it with the world.... So, that ugly swineherd Eumaios came to the palace today to tell Penelope something secretly. Of course we couldn't hear, I mean, we're just her future candidate husbands! Anyways, I have a feeling that I know what the swineherd was going to tell Penelope, because right before he could say it, a messenger came hurrying into the palace, claiming that that no-good bratty child Telemakhos had returned home! UGHH!!! Anyways, he doesn't know that we know that he is home, so we have the advantage in this situation... I told the guys that we could easily pounce on him and kill him before he even knows what hit him, and mostly everyone agreed...But then that turkey head Amphinimous had to go and suggest that we "consult the gods" before we "kill such a noble prince..." Who is he kidding??? We are men and we are hunters!! What happens in the jungle stays in the jungle... We can't go around asking the Gods for advice for every animal we kill!! Anyways, most of the guys agreed with Amphinimous, so I guess I'll just have to wait for my sweet revenge...Alright, I'm going to go get some sleep for the big battle (hopefully) coming up soon...Laterrr!
Xoxo,
Antinoos :)

Okay....so yeah I hope you all enjoyed that, and now I'm going to bed..
Peace Out,
Odysseus

Book Fifteen- GUEST BLOGGERRR (sorry guys)

Hey People!
So recently, since I've been staying with Eumaios, I've decided to test him to see how long he'll let me stay...So, I told him that I would have to leave soon, so that he would hopefully invite me to stay longer. I told him that I would leave in the morning, but he told me that that wasn't acceptable and that I would have to stay with him for a little while longer, which is fine by me! The only thing is that he has taken a strange liking to me, and he won't give me a second alone! Even now, he's calling me downstairs to play backgammon with him...I mean I'm staying here, but I STILL HAVE A LIFE...It's not my fault I would rather be up here being social on the internet than actually interacting with someone....pshh.... Anyways, that's why I'm cutting this blog short, and I'm gonna resume with that guest blogger that we had a while back...Bon appetite!

Hey Guys!
It's Telemakhos again! WOW, I haven't blogged here for a while... Well, just to catch you all up, I voyaged for a while looking for my father, but without luck...Then recently, I was staying with Meneleus and Helen, when Athena appeared to me in a dream, and told me to go back to Ithaka, for there was fear of my mother getting married to one of the suitors!! I mean, I care a LOT about my father who I've never met before, but my mommy is my NUMBER ONE. I need to make sure she is okay before I worry about Odysseus anymore. So, yesterday morning, I set sail from the home of Meneleus with many gifts aboard my boat. Right when I boarded, I saw Helen racing back towards the ship. She told me that she had just seen a sign and told me that Odysseus will soon return home to kill the suitors...Maybe going home will prove beneficial to both my mother AND my father! WOOHOO!!! This morning, we arrived in Ithaka at last!! It feels so good to be home :) I can't wait to see my mom and hopefully meet my dad and OMG this is gonna be soooo exciting! AND AND AND AND get this: we just saw a hawk fly by carrying a dove in its talons, and Theoclymenus thinks that it shows the strength of Odysseus and his bloodline...get it?? THAT MEANS ME!! Wow I'm so stoked to meet my father!! Wow, I feel like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz," just realizing how easy it was to get home after such a long, perilous journey... YAY!! Okay I'm gonna go now and get a good night's sleep so I can hopefully get a lot done tomorrow. Bye!
Xoxo,
Telemakhos <3 style="font-weight: bold;">


Hmm that was interesting.. okay so me and Eumaios just played pretty much the most uneventful 3-hour game of backgammon I have ever played in my life, and the only way I can get away from him is to go to bed (I swear to god if he asks me to sleep with him too I'M LEAVING I don't care what Athena says...) Anyways, goodnight!
PEACE-
-Odysseus

Book Fourteen- Finding Out What People Think of Me...

What's up everybodyy???
I arrived at Eumaios' hut this morning, and although he didn't recognize me, I would recognize my old swineherd anywhere! I decided not to tell him exactly who I was, so that he couldn't tell anyone I was home. I didn't want to suitors finding out and coming after me before I could launch my surprise attack on them! Anyways, Eumaios told me that he had missed me for a long time (although he didn't know I was me...confusing, right?) and he could not stop praising me. It was a major confidence-booster, and I really wanted to take credit for all of the magnificent things that Eumaios was saying, but I knew I couldn't. Instead, I told Eumaios that I was a vagabond from Crete, and that I had fought with Odysseus at Troy. I told him that I had heard in my vast travels that Odysseus was still alive, and that he would return home very soon. Although Eumaios didn't believe me, and thought that I was only saying this to get money from Penelope, he took a liking to me, and is not allowing me to stay with him in his hut. I'm glad to have a place to stay, even if I have to continue to keep my identity to myself, and take on the form of an old vagabond. I'll do anything to see my Penelope again, and to kill the suitors who have been trying to steal her from me! Here's a picture of Penelope...Isn't she beautiful?? I MISS HER!! But I can tell that my journey is almost complete, and at least I don't have to be at sea any longer :)
YAY!

LATER GATORS
-ODYSSEUS

Book Thirteen- Home at Last!

Hey Guys!
So, how'd you all like the ending to my story?? Alkinoos and his people certainly liked it, and they FINALLY let me go! YAY! Alkinoos loaded my boat with gifts and other stuff ALL morning, and I didn't get to leave till sunset... I don't remember a lot about the trip home, considering I was soooooooooooo tired from all the HARD WORK I did at Scheria, I slept through the whole trip! I feel sort of bad, considering I didn't even wake up when we landed on shore, and my crew had to carry me out onto the land before they set out back for their own homes... The worst part is that I heard that their ship sank like RIGHT after they dropped me off at home... that SUCKS.....ehh whatever it's not MY fault... Anyways, I woke up after being dropped off at Ithaka, although I had NO idea where I was considering I was covered in some weird fog again...Probably that Athena again! She appeared to me and told me that I was supposed to use my cunning to get rid of the suitors, and then she told me to go visit the swineherd Eumaios. Of course, I listened to her (as always) so I'm headed off to Eumaios now! Maybe I will meet my son Telemakhos at last!

P.S. - Here's Eumaios, the guy I guess I'll be spending the next few days with...

Later,
Odysseus